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    There are lots of anal guys out there—including guys as young as you—who got infected with HIV by boyfriends, including first boyfriends, who lied or didn't know or fucked up. So listen to your mother and use condoms, TUSH, along with a water-based lubricant.

    I am an intern at the health and wellness center at my university. This is safe-sex-awareness month on campus. We got donations from some sex toy companies. Among the products we received is something marketed sex "Desensitizing Anal Wipes" by a company called California Exotic Novelties.

    We gave away these samples at our recent expo. After the anal, a student came up to my boss and me. As a young gay man, he expressed concern that desensitizing anal wipes were not safe to use, as masking zex could in fact lead to engaging in activities that you may not otherwise.

    I am assuming that what he meant here is that portalnd you are experiencing pain during anal sex, you probably shouldn't proceed.

    I know with anal you need to take things slow, use lots of lube, and work your way up to it, but that's about the extent of my knowledge in this area. But I'd like to know what the Dan Savage take is on anal desensitizing wipes.

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    Desensitizing wipes send the opposite message. Find the Savage Lovecast my weekly podcast every Tuesday at thestranger. Got a question for Dan Savage? Call the Savage Love Podcast at or email Dan at mail savagelove. SuitePortland, OR Savage Love Apr 19, Savage Love Anal by Dan Savage.

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